Looking Back and Moving Forward

At the start of the year, we introduced you to our Chezza (as she has affectionally known now.)

She had made a decision to turn her life around and, to do so, made the choice to come and spend ONE WHOLE YEAR out here with us in Spain. Whilst her weight was her main goal, there were a number of other things she hoped to achieve and during the year, we have been amazed by her journey. We have seen her let go of SO MUCH that it inspires us to keep doing what we do.

At D-Toxd, we DON’T believe in rapid weight loss. In fact, far from it.

We believe that people need to make small changes that are sustainable when the return home. Things that are easy to implement and simple to follow because, as we all know, life is unpredictable. We never, ever, ever know what is going to happen from one minute to the next so taking things in our stride is by far, the safest way we can consistently find that balance the contributes to us achieving our physical goals.

During her stay, Chezza has made some HUGE changes and you might just get a little insight into one of them in this latest post we’re sharing but have no fear, we will update you on that soon enough !!

Half way through the year, Chezza took a break and went to visit some family in Canada. It was a well deserved break and time away from the Retreat would be a good thing.

Today, we would like to share her experience of her Summer Break with you all.


I had been a bit nervous about leaving D-toxd as was fearful I would have no self-control where food was concerned and would put loads of weight on….at the same time I didn’t want to ruin my holiday being obsessed by food.

At the beginning I was very mindful of what I was eating and when going out for a meal I would run through the questions I had been told to ask myself…what am I feeling before choosing my food, what am I thinking once I have ordered the food and how do I feel after eating my choice of food….nearer the end of the holiday I was less careful maybe thinking that soon I would be up a mountain and restricted once more with my food intake so let’s make the most of it?!

As for exercise I managed one step class and 2 long walks in 2 weeks plus a bit of resistance work with a band that I bought.

On returning to D-toxd I had put on 7lbs – deserved this to be fair…thankfully after a week I have lost this again so I think that maybe, I am just starting to understand myself a bit more!

How do I feel now I am back?

Good to be back in a healthy lifestyle routine with food and exercise but have been told I need to step it up if I want to lose another 3 stone in the next 5 months….I am finding exercising in the heat quite challenging and I am having to really push myself to do most of the classes and walks as would much rather crash out somewhere cool!

I am also struggling a bit with my low mood (3 weeks off antidepressants now) which in turn makes me feel guilty as I should just be grateful to have this opportunity and be throwing myself at everything that comes my way. Instead today I started to hatch a plan on how to get out of the morning walk so I could just go and hibernate in my room. Luckily I talked myself round and did actually go but then ended up having tears on route! This also occurred in rebounding and yoga today – what a nutcase! I realise I need to seriously work on my mind set now as I am struggling to find my ‘Why’ and reason for doing what I am doing….


I had a chat with Jeroen today as I was really struggling with my head thoughts…..we chatted about two of the steps ‘Acceptance’ and ‘Taking Responsibility’ …. I realise I have been hanging about in the acceptance stage for quite a while now while still not perhaps actually accepting!

Really need to aim for the taking responsibility step now and maybe I need to accept that I will always have a part of me that will take me to a dark place but that I need to remember it won’t last forever (hard to remember when you are in it!)…rather than try to fight it, accept it….and use your energies to aim towards the end of that particular spell.

Following this chat I went to the painting class and interestingly I painted an abstract that looked like a person morphing into something new ….what bothered me though was a splodge of blue on what could be the second person…this could represent what I have to accept will always be there…like a birthmark..the blues…


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