At the start of the year, we introduced you to an amazing lady who has taken some pretty big steps towards creating change in her life.
We’ll be honest with you – unfortunately, we got caught up with “work” and before we knew it, March had arrived. We hadn’t got round to continuing the journey and we know that some of you are really keen to find out what’s been going on.
So many people come out to the Retreat to address their weight and whilst they achieve great results during their stay with us, we believe that it is an on-going journey that has its ups and downs. We know that when people return home, life happens. Things go wrong. Stress rears its ugly head. Situations get us down. The list could be endless so we won’t go on.
What we firmly believe in, and the way we choose to approach things, is that when we take care of our body, nurture our mind and LIVE our lives, we find tools (and ways) to keep our journey going. At D-Toxd, we don’t believe in rapid weight loss – that’s why we run our program the way that we do. Quick fixes don’t work and they’re just a temporary solution to a persistent problem that needs addressing.
We believe in setting ourselves goals and slowly, but steadily, working our way towards them whilst we adjust and adapt to whatever is taking place in our body. Whilst losing weight is the goal, adjusting (and learning) to living a new way is probably the most important thing we can do.
Today, we join Cheryl for her Second Dear D-Toxd Diary Instalment – and as with everything, we think she is doing a pretty amazing job. It sums up everything we truly believe in as we approach life.
I decided that even though I definitely needed the remoteness of D-Toxd to succeed so I was away from temptation of the corner shop, I still wanted to take my car with me so that I wasn’t in a complete bubble. It would also give me the opportunity to test myself out there – all in all, that meant a 21 hour drive!
As the day of leaving drew closer, I kept moving my marker of when I would stop eating junk food. First it was when I left England, then it was once I reached Spain and finally, once I arrived at D-Toxd. I guess it was any excuse I had to keep on abusing my body with rubbish food and, in all honesty, I was not surprised by myself – I guess you could say I kind of fulfilled what I expected in those early days.
Over Christmas, a lot of work had gone on at the Retreat so when I arrived in January, it was pretty quiet and we had loads to do. That meant getting stuck in and, for a few days, being left to my own devices. I kept myself busy during my free time by going for walks, either to the Sunrise Platform or The Dead End (both about 3 miles) and as I was “looking after myself” I had to make a few trips to the local supermarkets in Benissa.
On my first supermarket excursion I was in there for a long time trying to figure out what the Spanish names were for things that I wanted. I REALLY wanted to buy some biscuits or something else to have with a cuppa at night up there on my own – I reasoned with myself that I would do all healthy shopping first and see how I felt then. Who would have known that I would bump into Louise – good timing as she was able to check my basket for any misdemeanours.
I couldn’t seem to bring myself to do the juicing on my own. Although they taste good, it is always the washing up afterwards that puts me off and besides, it’s also easier to do if other people are doing it too. Hmmmm, maybe another putting off tactic of mine that we can look into.
The week before the first guests arrived, I weighed myself and was disappointed I had not lost any weight and things had just stayed the same which made me feel quite fed up with myself. My junk food habits went a bit out of the window for a few days but I am happy to say that I regained control just before the weekend when the programme would start with the new guests. I did my usual trick of putting the remaining junk food into a bag and sprayed deodorant over it so I would have no temptation to root it out the next day when I was feeling desperate.
Anyways !! I have been here a month now and I’ve lost 1 Stone which is not bad considering it’s not been “perfect.”
When I first arrived, my asthma was quite bad on the walks. I found the hills a bit of a challenge on my own and with my general unfitness but I do love doing them as it is so beautiful out here. My fitness feels slightly enhanced now and I even managed a 3 minute jog round the pool. This was a huge achievement for me as I can’t remember the last time I even attempted a jog – maybe as a child? I felt like a big lumbering elephant but hey, at least I tried!
I also got quite excited last week while rebounding. I actually got both feet to leave the trampoline at same time. I had previously been doing only one foot at a time but blimey, it sure makes a difference with how out of breath you get and the build-up of lactic acid in the calf muscles! This time I felt like a bouncing hippo!
I wonder when I am going to start being less hard on myself and stop calling myself names. Maybe patting myself on the back with each mini triumph would be a start – now that would be novel!
So!! The other day, I decided to go to the local Shopping Centre for a wander around – I think I knew before I even left that I intended to sabotage my recent 1 Stone Success. “Cheryl, succeed?” Don’t be daft – I don’t do success.
My first “sign” was thinking I was adding salt to my chips when, in fact, I proceeded to pour pepper over half of them, making them unbearable so I couldn’t eat them. Then, I bought myself some chocolate which I decided to have with a cup of tea when I got back, breaking my own resolve to not take treats into my room – it was, after all, like a virtual hug maybe? However, when I got there, one of the guests asked me to watch a movie with her, so what did I do? I wrapped the chocolate in kitchen roll so I could discreetly eat it when nobody was looking. How ironic was it though, that there I was, watching a weight loss program whilst secretly eating chocolate.
Maybe there is no hope for me?
The next day, I went on the walk and rebounded as hard as I could – it’s like a war going on with me trying to fight the food with exercise and it is an uphill struggle. Everything I try to achieve, I have to throw things at to make it harder so that when I do achieve something, I deserve it.
Just imagine if I put all the effort I put into my self sabotage into helping myself achieve my goals – the sky really would be the limit!
So why am I so reluctant to let myself achieve something? Why am I so worthless that I do not deserve this as others do?
Fingers crossed I turn my thinking around and make it to the next stone!